Eight years ago, I went through my worst battle with what could be described as depression. There were days that I only slept. No food. No TV. No friends. Just sleep. Trying my hardest to sleep away misery to no avail.
Even though I was going through such deep sadness, I still had the responsibility to lead at my job. It was terrible because the only thing I knew to do to get through my sadness was to work harder. I subconsciously believed that if I worked harder, I would be able to "fight through" my issues. Unfortunately, leading while unwell only magnifies my unwell-ness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't outrun my need for wellness.
So, I decided to become very serious and very intentional about my healing journey. I've found that some things work for me and others didn't, but it is all apart of the journey that I'm on.
Three things have become a source of healing for me. I'll call them "The M&M's."
Mindfulness: The practice of being present wherever I am.
Minimalism: The art of letting go of what I don't need.
Meditation: The gift of focused thought.
Here's why I think these three behaviors have been healing for me...
““Be still, and know that I am God!”
Hence, the site title (B. STLL). These three behaviors have taught me how to be still. Something that throughout my history I haven't done well. I'm used to hustling for my worth, especially as a leader. Being the funniest, loudest, hardest worker, best rule keeper, etc. Those are the behaviors that I thought come naturally to me. To be still as a leader almost sounded lazy to me, but it's not true.
As I learn to be still, I lean into knowing God. As I lean into knowing God, I begin to know me. As I begin to know me, I don't have to be who everyone else thinks I should be. Then, I can be a leader that is unshackled to pleasing everyone else.
What. A. Relief.
That's what this site is about... Living from a place of soul-care.
Cheering on your stillness,
Brie